How to Improve Low Self-Esteem: 5 Effective Techniques

Self-esteem is the lens through which we view ourselves—our sense of self-worth and value. When our self-esteem is healthy, we’re better able to manage life’s challenges, maintain fulfilling relationships, and pursue our goals with confidence. However, for many people, self-esteem can fluctuate or remain chronically low, often shaped by past experiences, internalized beliefs, and social comparisons.

In the framework of Positive Psychotherapy, early social interactions—particularly those with primary caregivers, siblings, and peers—are considered crucial in the development of foundational self-confidence. These early relational experiences shape our core perceptions of self, including beliefs about bodily integrity, cognitive competence, creativity, and relational worth. When authentic expressions of personality do not elicit affirmation or acceptance from others, there is an increased risk of forming distorted self-appraisals, potentially leading to diminished self-worth and maladaptive self-concepts.

The good news is that self-esteem is not fixed. With patience and intention, it can be nurtured and strengthened. Below are five evidence-based ways to begin improving your self-esteem:

1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Many people with low self-esteem have an internal dialogue that is overly critical or harsh. These thoughts often go unnoticed, yet they quietly shape how we feel about ourselves.

What to do: Start by noticing your inner dialogue. When you catch yourself thinking things like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess things up,” gently challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself:

• “Is this thought true?”

• “Would I say this to a friend?”

• “What is the evidence against it?”

Replacing distorted thoughts with more realistic and compassionate ones is a powerful step toward building self-respect.

2. Set Boundaries and Say No

Low self-esteem can make us feel responsible for others’ feelings or fearful of rejection. As a result, we may overextend ourselves to gain approval.

What to do: Practice saying “no” when something doesn’t feel right or aligns with your limits. Setting healthy boundaries communicates that your needs matter—and this self-respect slowly builds internal confidence. You may need to "fake it till you make it" in the beginning, but by continuous practice, setting boundaries will become easier.

3. Focus on Strengths, Not Just Weaknesses

We often fixate on our flaws or failures while overlooking our abilities and successes. This imbalance fuels a sense of inadequacy.

What to do: Keep a daily or weekly log of things you’ve done well—even small things. Whether it’s handling a difficult conversation, making time for yourself, or completing a task, acknowledging your strengths helps reframe your self-image over time. I highly recommend trying two powerful exercises that can help you better understand and appreciate your strengths: Constructive Self-Knowledge and Positive Appraisal. You’ll find them here.

4. Engage in Activities that Reinforce Self-Worth

Your environment and routines influence your self-esteem. Spending time doing things that bring you joy or a sense of mastery reinforces a positive sense of self.

What to do: Choose activities that align with your values and make you feel capable. It could be creative hobbies, learning something new, volunteering, or even exercising. These experiences remind you that you are competent and capable.

5. Seek Support When Needed

Sometimes, persistent low self-esteem is rooted in early life experiences or past trauma. These deeper issues may need to be explored in a supportive and safe environment.

What to do: Talking to a therapist can help uncover the origins of low self-worth and provide personalized strategies for growth. Therapy isn’t about fixing what’s “wrong”—it’s about understanding and nurturing the self. Book a free 30-minute consultation to explore whether therapy could be a good fit for you.

Improving self-esteem is not about becoming perfect; it’s about seeing yourself as worthy, even in imperfection. By practicing self-compassion, challenging distorted thoughts, and surrounding yourself with supportive influences, you begin to shift the way you relate to yourself—gently, but powerfully.