Depression: When the Hidden Cause Is Anger Turned Inward
- Katie Grigoratou
- Aug 11, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 5, 2025
What Is Depression?
Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions in the world, affecting an estimated 300 million people every year. It is also a leading cause of disability due to its significant impact on daily functioning, relationships, and quality of life.
Depression is more than sadness. It can feel like a deep, ongoing heaviness, a loss of motivation, and a disconnection from life itself. People experiencing depression often feel hopeless, exhausted, and isolated — even when there’s no obvious external reason.
Sometimes depression follows a difficult life event such as divorce, bereavement, or major change. These periods of low mood are part of the human experience. But when depression keeps returning or lingers over time, it may point to deeper, underlying causes.
Depression has many causes, both psychological and biological in nature. In this article, we’ll explore depression through a psychodynamic lens inspired by Positive Psychotherapy - focusing on how inner conflict, repressed emotions, and unrealistic self-expectations can contribute to its development.
How Unrealistic Self-Images Form
In early life, some people develop an idealized self-image — a belief that “I must always be good, successful, and worthy of love,” and that “only good things should happen to me.”This can come from growing up in environments where mistakes, emotional needs, or expressions of anger were not welcomed.
Common inner rules might include:
“If I’m perfect, I’ll be safe and loved.”
“I should never make mistakes.”
“People should always approve of me.”
These beliefs can help a child feel secure in the short term — but as adults, they set unrealistic expectations for life and relationships.
Why Anger Feels Unsafe to Express
When reality challenges this inner ideal — through rejection, criticism, failure, or abandonment — the natural emotional response might be anger or frustration. But for many people, showing anger feels unsafe or unacceptable. This can happen because:
Their inner values or “super-ego” forbid aggression.
They fear anger will damage relationships.
They carry a deep fear of abandonment, learned in childhood.
Especially for children, abandonment means a loss of safety and survival. This fear can continue into adulthood, making it feel risky to express certain emotions — particularly toward those we care about.
When Anger Turns Inward: Self-Criticism and Withdrawal
When anger has no place to express itself — it often turns inward. This self-directed anger can show up as:
Harsh self-criticism
Guilt or shame
A feeling of emptiness
Self-sabotage (mostly unconscious)
A chronic sense of failure or emotional numbness
Over time, these patterns reinforce feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, and disconnection — all of which are central to depression.
Healing Through Positive Psychotherapy
In Positive Psychotherapy, emotional conflicts are not seen as signs of weakness, but as invitations for self-discovery and growth. Therapy helps clients:
Identify and challenge unrealistic expectations.
Recognize and safely process repressed emotions like anger or grief.
Explore strengths, values, and coping patterns.
Restore balance in key areas of life: health, work, relationships, and meaning.
From this perspective, depression can be a signal — a time to step back, address unresolved inner conflicts, and realign life with authentic needs and values.
With the right support, it’s possible to move from self-criticism toward self-compassion, and from disconnection toward a more meaningful, engaged life.
If you're curious about how therapy can help you, feel free to reach out for a free consultation. Together, we can explore what your anxiety is trying to tell you.
